Courtesy of Frank Earnest drummer Ryan Horky, here is a review of the recently released Cheap Girls/Lemuria Split 7″.

Man, four years ago I’da been shittin’myself over this thing. There was a time when you couldn’t pry Lemuria’s split with Kind of Like Spitting (Your Living Room’s All Over Me) off of my turntable. Around the same time I was going all gaga for a three song demo the Cheap Girls had recorded and (guitarist Adam) Aymor had slipped me all nervous-like one day when I was working at a record store. Anybody within earshot was gonna hear how these guys were the next big thing. Most people ignored me, and this was logical. I don’t have the best track record when predicting the next big thing. (American Idol? “Nobody’s gonna watch that,”said I. Social Networking? “This’ll never catch on…”) But lo and behold, the Cheap Girls are the biggest deal to come outta the capital since Small Brown Bike, and Lemuria ain’t doing too bad themselves. Normally I’m happy to see friends (or people I met once at Ian Graham’s house, in Lemuria’s case) doing well, but in this case I’m not so sure. This is one boring-ass record. Cheap Girls turn in a largely unmemorable song call “Pure Hate.” It’s not really that bad a tune, it just has “B SIDE” written all over it. (And hey, I guess it is…) Not exactly the sort of thing I’m gonna drop the needle on again and again the way I did with their first record. They’re capable of much catchier material than this. But boy, I’d rather hear Pure Hate ten times in a row than flip the damn thing over. We’ll start with “Lemons,” which is actually the second track on the Lemuria side. It’s boring. Honestly, not really much else to say about it. A totally unmemorable track that won’t stick in your head no matter how much you hear it, which I unfortunately had to do several times in the interest of turning in a half-decent review. And then there’s the giant turd that is “Single Mother Lover,” the lead track on this thing. Good. Lord. I have never heard such stupid lyrics in my entire life. (Outside of a Red Hot Chili Peppers album anyway…) The tagline for this pile is “I’m a single mother lover” sung over and over, sometimes by Alex, sometimes be Sheena, sometimes by both. I’m guessing Alex is banging some single mom and he’s all nervous about it. I’m sure it’s difficult to connect with a kid that ain’t yours, but writing a lame-ass song about it isn’t the answer. Someday this kid’s gonna grow up and kick his ass for involving him in such a sad excuse for rock and roll music. Unfortunately, the song’s catchy as hell, catchier than anything on the (to my mind) incredibly over-rated Pebble, meaning it’s been stuck in my head all damned day. (Catchy in a bad way, I mean, like some stupid theme song to a kid’s show.) I’m gonna go dig out Living Room and remind myself why I ever liked this band in the first place.